Witchiness Lyrics

Hmmmmmm

[Verse 1]
Well they came one morning, soft knock at the door,
Rain on the step and a cough on the floor,
A man with a clipboard, pale as a ghost,
And an umbrella named Derek who talked the most.
“Now don’t be alarmed, dear, don’t take it bad,
We’re the Council, you see, strict, not mad,
You’ve been listed, nothing to fear,
Unintentional Witch, Three-B, to be clear.”

[Chorus]
Granny said, don’t be daft, dear, and don’t you say,
I’m no witch, love, I knit all day,
By the River Dee where the old tides turn,
I’m no witch, my love, just lessons learned. 
Oh don’t be daft, my love, let it be,
Just wool and tea in me boat in the River Dee,
No spells here, dear, just you and me,
I’m no witch, my love. Said Granny. 

[Verse 2]
Before all this fuss and magical mess,
She’d knit by the fire in quiet success,
Jam on the bread, raffle tickets neat,
Eyes on the prize with a competitive streak.
That old book said recipes, wartime spells,
Muddled old meanings and misprinted tells.
She stirred the pot, dear, minding her own,
Till turnips blinked and the oven groaned.

[Chorus]
Granny said, don’t be daft, dear, and don’t you say,
I’m no witch, love, I knit all day,
By the River Dee where the old tides turn,
I’m no witch, my love, just lessons learned. 
Oh don’t be daft, my love, let it be,
Just wool and tea in me boat in the River Dee,
No spells here, dear, just you and me,
I’m no witch, my love. Said Granny. 

[Verse 3]
She knitted a cosy, blue and fine,
Brian sipped tea and spoke his mind,
“Well I never,” the Council cried,
“That knitting’s enchanted,” he sighed.
“No training, no papers, no wand to show,
But magic’s magic, love, as we all know,”
So Granny nodded, poured the tea,
And hid her spells politely.

[Chorus]
Granny said, don’t be daft, dear, and don’t you say,
I’m no witch, love, I knit all day,
By the River Dee where the old tides turn,
I’m no witch, my love, just lessons learned. 
Oh don’t be daft, my love, let it be,
Just wool and tea in me boat in the River Dee,
No spells here, dear, just you and me,
I’m no witch, my love. Said Granny. 

[Verse 4]
 “Now listen close, Winona, dear,”
Granny said one night when the moon drew near,
“There’s an old curse we don’t repeat,
Whispered low in shadowed streets.”
A Wren once loved or dreamed in the past,
Moon to custard, depends who you ask,
The Magical Council rose in dreadful force,
And bound the line with the Veilbound Curse.

[Bridge]
Oh hush now, dear, till thirteen years,
Keep magic veiled, keep it clear,
Say herbs and plants and over-talk facts,
Distract them, love, with enchanted flapjacks.

[Verse 5]
“Mum says herbs, dear, perfectly plain,
Dad talks in circles till folks feel dazed,
And me?” says Granny with a wink and grin,
“I laugh it all off and pass the biscuit tin.”
“But if they find us, my love, it’s all undone,
The cottage gone, the shop shut down,
My barrel on the Dee would drift to sea,
And I’d live in it… permanently.”

[Final Chorus]
Granny said, don’t be daft, dear, and don’t you say,
I’m no witch, love, I knit all day,
By the River Dee where the old tides turn,
I’m no witch, my love, just lessons learned. 
Oh don’t be daft, my love, let it be,
Just wool and tea in me boat in the River Dee,
No spells here, dear, just you and me,
I’m no witch, my love. Said Granny. 

[outro]
And if the secret ever breaks one night,
And Granny’s barrel drifts out of sight…
Winona swears, by thread and tea,
That will never happen,
Not on the River Dee.